so lost~~

i jus felt so hard to past the times these few days.... so many things had happen in these few days... so many... i feel so lost.. so empty.. so frustrated.. i duno wat to do ... i feel im falling but i need to pull myself up again... but its so hard...
evryday when im home my mind start to stray again..... it jus feel so painful .. so i keep findin way to go out wit frns n enjoy myself.. drinkin, eating, chattin .. watever thing dat can come along... i need it so much ... i know i need to do sumthing to it but wat can i do ? its been almost days dat we din speak..... i wonder how he can do it to me?
i wish i can... im restraining myself from calling him cuz i know he will not answer.... whenever i think of him its so painful for me .. i felt so unfair.. i was blame for sumthin dat i din do... for dat reason i've lost sumthin.. i duno how to face my frn afta wat happen... its bcuz of sumthin silly he did n cost this rltship of mine....
at this point i know there is ntg i can do already cuz i've done all i can... right now i need to leave asap... start a new life at a new place where i can put all my sad memories behind ......